and the beat goes on.....

It's fairly easy to allow anger/ negativity to boil over. It would not be hard to get on a roll and just go on and on about what I may see or feel as wrong/unfair. But I have come to see that as dance music for satan. And the beat goes on if we allow it, satan gets down at our expense. Funny his happiness is ALWAYS at the expense of our happiness. Catching myself before I really begin to sink in self pity is an awesome blessing. Feeling myself settle into the muck of discouragement is so unsettling. Cool thing is I can always pull myself up by my boot straps with a simple word or two of gratitude. Then as if eager to wash the muck completely away and stop satans dance party I begin to list more and more reasons, realities I'm so grateful for, then as if a new song plays, the beat is mine, a joyful noise. See me, I'm dancing to the gift of worship, to the sound of praise. satan no longer is dancing, he is stomping mad, then in the presence of the Most High, satan must leave, I've made it known he is not welcome at my dance party. Gratitude is catchy and soon my neighbors will see my dance and ask me what I'm listening to. They will want to join the celebration too.
God today I am grateful for the opportunity to live like I'm at your party, to not allow satan in, and to make others not only welcome but eager to see whats it's all about.
Lord, thank you for the responses I receive to threads of gratitude, thank you for giving me this window into your workroom, that I may see The Master at work.

on those days??

During "those days" when I may not feel His presence, I seek Him. Mornings when I feel more alone than others I have learned to seek Him. I reach into His word for Him. I will begin counting blessings to remember His grace. I will read a blog, or dive into a study or just open my eyes to see Him around me. My children are eating breakfast, by the grace of God they have food and vitamins:). My boys ready themselves for school, by God's grace they have an opportunity to enrich their minds:) The morning is chilly, by the grace of God we have shelter:). Then as I bathe myself in His love I begin to "feel" Him. Silly me I'm not alone, I'm just not open to Him, so I begin to open my eyes to see Him. I'm not sure I will ever be able to really feel as the prophets of our past did when they physically heard His voice, or saw Him, until I enter heaven. But the humbling of my physical body, the tears that water my heart are very real when I am sure He is with me. To witness Him at work is a thrill I will ever seek, my body quakes with emotion, tears just fall from my eyes I am blessed to know on "those days" I can look back to moments when I was as certain as anything ever before that my Father is real, my Father is personal, and my Father seeks me. I can say that on "those days", I hang tight to my absolute faith in Him being there, and me just needing to seek Him. Today God I am grateful for Your love. and Father today I am grateful for bloggers that share their faith and testimonies with everyone so that on "those days" when I may not feel you I can rest in the fact that you are hard at work, trying to bring us all home:)

It can be scary....or it can just be an experience.

This is a picture of my hubby, cute as a bug and joking around in this pic. Now we both had faith in that one foot holding him in place while I got the picture. Faith....what an exquisite reality we have available to us. Today God I am grateful for faith in you, faith that can change something from being scary and incredibly unpredictible to an experience of getting to know more of you. It is so hard sometimes to not try and control situations, to take back what we've lifted up to God in prayer. Patience is a refiner of faith in God I believe. I've caught myself not completely letting go of a situation, ya'know just in case God was busy:). Picking up a task I left at the cross because I felt God could use a hand. While my mistakes will continue because at my own hand I'm an idiot, lost without a map. Today I'm grateful God reveals my mis-steps to me and will not easily let go of something I have given Him to handle for me. God reminds me of reasons I left it with Him in the first place. My God is faithful, my God is true. I know this because of the verses He is storing away in my heart. Memorizing verses for the first time since I was a child. I'm not exactly sure why He is storing away these particular ones but I trust Him enough to hold tight to them. Plus now that He put those there I feel ready for more. Life can be scary, watching the news can send you to the nearest piece of chocolate. Faith assures me that this is an experience that He will see me thru. I take faith in the Lord my God over scary anyday :) Thank you God I am grateful for You.

a break in the heart, a healing God.

Today God woke me up asking to be first. I mean time in His word, which I've been doing, but to do it before anything else. Thus far I have taken a moment to make a cup of coffee to enjoy while reading His word, but today He said me first. So with groggy eyes and a belly growling for coffee I stepped into Him. I am reading Exodus and am in chapter 21. I'm not exactly sure why God wanted me to read about all His commandments and other rules before coffee, but I know it will make sense later. I do know God has been laying the word obediance and faith on me alot lately. Is He in His infinate wisdom laying down the ground work for something to come? Absolutely !!! Do I trust Him that it is important to take heed now to reap later, absolutely!!! God is asking me things and I am being obediant and my faith is growing and God is asking me things and I am being obediant and my faith is growing, what a wonderful cycle dontcha think?
This morning I read of a friends husband having cancer, my heart broke a little for her and her husband and family. Then God said I have a plan, I am the healer, all will be done to serve my plan, and I felt better.
I'm not sure what Gods plan is for me, and to be honest I do not want to know, ever. You see our God see's so much more in us than we can see in ourselves. We can see a step, but the whole plan might overwhelm us, might make us slip up because we do not agree. But a step we can handle.
God today I am grateful for each step and for the mercy and grace of you allowing us to see back to how far we've come because of you. May I trust in your plan and be grateful for the sole task of taking a step.

feeling better, but wonder if ???

Sometimes I want to share the really cool things God is doing in me and I feel...I don't know like I'm bragging sometimes, but I'm not. God has been so generous with me that I just want to shout from the rooftops how awesome He is. During bible study we have women dealing with peaks, some in valleys and some just wondering in the desert it seems, so I feel bad being so happy, so amazed. Then I feel compeled to share and I feel these looks?
God has opened my eyes to His word, to the joy of studying Him and getting to know Him. As far as possesions and things my life has not changed, it's my view that has, and I feel so blessed. I share so that they see it's there, for anyone, I'm not special at all. I do not want this joy lessened by "these looks" so my prayer today is to keep on keeping on being happy, joyful. God today I am grateful for You, Your word and the joy of getting to know You, thank you Lord.

figuring it out...well figuring this out :)

Okay so I'm still feeling the icks, but God has given me a plan. My level of energy to get thru each day is minimal due to the icks. So...God being genius and knowing I need Him even more (ya know to whine on His shoulder that I feel these icks) told me to do my reading first, followed by my studies and I will be better for it. Okay so I still feel the icks BUT, yesterday was worse cuz I had trudged thru the day reading a bit here, studying a bit there, feeling bad because I wasn't "into" doing it at all. Today I did that first, so even though my flesh feels the icks, my spirit has been lifted, get it?
Today God I am grateful for a spirit that can be in me and not feel these icks. Today I am grateful for friends that pray for me and the blessing of praying for them. Oh and God I'm grateful you got me to lunch with some friends to enjoy their company even though a nap is what my flesh wanted yesterday. Thank you God, I love you.

praising God when I feel yucky.

Feeling yucky is not much fun. I'm tired although I slept atleast 8 hours. My body is a bit shaky and well it's ucky. Days like these are sometimes hard to lift my bible and open it to read God's word. Then to do the life group workbook and womens bible study seems difficult too, but I do them. Not because I'm some champ, or even studious at all. I do them because I love God, I long to know more about Him, to learn more about my ancestry. Today is tough cuz my hands are shaky. But these are the days I need Him more, these are the times I get beyond myself and into obediance.
God today I am grateful for my spirit reaching out to connect with you although my flesh seems to say it would be okay to let just this day pass without reading or studying. Today God I am grateful that a willing spirit trumps a ucky flesh everytime. May your word be a tonic to my soul, may whatever you teach me today be a lesson my flesh needed to hear. Today God I am grateful to have you, and love you.