a month of Thanksgiving :)

Digging deep for gratitude when none is at the top of my mind is hard, fun, challenging, necessary. Yes, I have much to be grateful for, the list is not too far from my mind. Yet on days when I'm not feeling it, where is my focus?

These are the days I must begin with everyday things, things I should be humbled by. Am I not grateful for health when so many are ill? Am I not grateful for food, when so very many are hungry? Am I not grateful for the freedom to worship, so many are in prisons for seeking this same freedom?

Today Father I am grateful for life, love, and for Your generous Spirit. Father today I pray for the faith of the hungry, the faith of those that are sick, Father for the faith of the imprisoned. Today I am grateful for faith when so much is going great for me. May I continue to have faith in a season of loss? Father today I am grateful for all the blessings You have given me, Your love humbles this unworthy sinner, I love you, amen.

amazed each time I focus on HIS glory.

HE paints without a brush or paint. HE evokes emotion so powerful it can brings you to your knees. HIS lakes and oceans beauty can bring water to your eyes. HIS color brightens a dreary day to the point of laughter.

So much is there in this world to focus on, dare I take a minute to focus on HIM? Just a moment to take my eyes off the world man has caused, but instead see HIS Glory everywhere.

Birds still sing, dogs still wag their tails, trees still worship in changing color. Do we not see we are the only species all a flutter? We are in the very eye of the storm we brought about and now we cry "oh Lord where art thou"? Just as a child gets caught up in his own mischief only to then cry out for a parent do we now cry out "Lord Help me?" Then we go about the normal daily grind of satans music, I feel like the organ grinders monkey, please stop the organ God !!!

Lord today I am grateful for your absolute beauty, for you showing me who I am and who I was created to be. Lord I'm grateful for your tender heart as you give me a clearer picture of myself. Lord today I am most grateful for the lamp unto my feet, for your ever present direction. Father you are my light, my love, my life. May I ever turn to you, and more so never allow myself to far from your love, this is my prayer, amen

walk with me ...talk to me...

Sometimes I can feel God saying "walk with me, talk to me". Other times I feel myself saying to God, "walk with me, talk to me".

Yesterday as I read about The Beloved Disciple John I felt excited, so much so I just had to stand up as I read. Then I began to pace and sway back and forth. Soon I realized The Spirit was teaching me something and my entire body was responding to the education, it was real I felt it, it was awesome, I loved it. Completely humble I am in awe of God. The more I walk with HIM the more HE talks to me. Whether it be via a message at church. Or maybe an answer to a question asked during life group. Most often it is when I am in HIS word, or studying up on my family in the bible via another text. I feel God is always eager to walk with us and talk to us if indeed we are walking with HIM and talking to HIM.

I have so very much to learn and by GOD'S grace The Spirit is always eager to teach. If I can just get it thru my head that walking with GOD and talking to GOD, is infinately wiser than asking HIM to walk with me and talk to me. I am limited to my ability to walk, I am but flesh, and my talk is only of the world, the right hear and right now. Oh Oh Oh if I could wrap my head around the awesome adventure of walking with GOD and talking to GOD, HE is so much more, HE shows me so much more than my poor little mind can even fathom.

Today Lord I am overwhelmed by your constant desire for me to walk with YOU and talk to YOU. I am so grateful for the open invitation to join you, to be blessed by YOUR very presence in my day. Lord I am just floored by YOUR love and YOUR holiness, that a flesh covered woman can experience YOU at all is love in every sense of the word. Thank you GOD.

The depth of HIS sorrow...

Oh it must be tough watching all this from above, from HIS place of love.
To see HIS children spend lifetimes needing to beg, sometimes steal, other times borrow.
As I glance towards the skies hoping to catch a glimpse of HIM, I wonder are there tears in HIS eyes?
I admit sometimes I have wondered "how can God allow all this", other times I ache for HIM because we are HIS and HE watches all this happen.
To see your child hurt can break a parents heart, God is our Father how does HE stand all HIS pain?
Israel oh Israel when will you call upon HIM as The Most High?
In the beginning of learning about these wondering disobediant Israelites I was so hasty to judge, "how could they be this way?" To see God daily, to have HIS daily bread every morning, and still disobey? You are HIS chosen, be humbled and serve.
Lord, my Father, today I am grateful that you have given me an Israelite view of myself. I am wondering about my desert, seeing you daily and still not completely being obediant to you. I know of Your glory firsthand, I have felt the tenderness of your powerful hand in my life, I am just like an Israelite. God I am your chosen child, we all are, just like the Israelites. God today I am grateful for you showing me I am judging myself ,I am just like them. With one exception: I am blessed with their history in writing, YOUR word is there to teach me, to allow me to not judge them but attempt to learn from their mistakes. Today I am grateful for YOUR word, and the blessings you give us thru it.

without any thinking on my part :)

How do I know when it's God's voice? Well most times it's when an answer is instant, clear, genius. Just the genius part lets me know it wasn't of my own gray matter. Then the clear part and the instant part pretty much cinch it up for me. My own thoughts are very rarely clear, and even more rare are they instant. I struggle with decision, then doubt kinda lingers about trying to nudge me away from clarity.

'cept when I'm in church, listening and whammo a question I have been gnawing away at is answered. Or in a bible study and I am blessed by an ahhhh.ha moment. Or it could be while reading HIS word and wondering what in the world HE'S going to use this for. My favorite is when I am praying and HE answers questions I didn't even ask !!! How HE knows I need to know this stuff before I ever ask is a constant thrill for me.

Last night in life group HE let me know I needed to start praying for faith. Faith that will remain sure and complete during a challenge. God said to pray for this faith before a challenge, to pray for this faith during a challenge and to pray for this faith after a challenge. Not to wait till I am knee deep in troubled waters before I begin to pray for steadfast faith. Now I'll admit I get scared when GOD says pray for an enduring faith, wouldn't you? But then HE guides me and says do not worry about troubles, just pray for faith. So without any thinking on my part I just will pray for faith, because HE said so.

God today I am grateful for your guidance, your love and your absolute knowledge of whats best for me and when. God today I am grateful for your love and mercy. You know what I need and let me know what I should be doing.

oh the Joy of hearing Him speak.

It's a funny thing to be so overjoyed about discipline. Thru so many people, verses, and books have I heard God speaking to me. Granted it's Him telling me what has to happen at the very real possibility of losing my job, but still I'm thrilled He's speaking to me. It's very comforting to know that even when I make a dumb mistake (which by the way I have learned lots from) God is still there calling me to a road of correctness. He's not mad, just anxious that I not allow this to get any worse. Oh and can I shout with JOY that in the midst of my stupidity God has showered me with His grace in another area of my life. God has my husband talking to me about faith and the word!!!! Yeah I know, to be given this supreme blessing in the midst of my stupidity is just like Him. God knows I need to be able to talk to my husband about this stuff, He knows my husband needs Him even if right now he doesn't necessarily want Him.
God has been very clear on whats expected of me, and I plan on delivering that, if my job is the only thing I lose I am grateful. But even more better, if my husband begins to share in my faith I will have come out gaining so much more than I lose.
Today God I am grateful for your attentiveness, you are not allowing me to guess at all, I am clear on your command on this. And God, how you have decided to be so generous with me is beyond my comprehension, but if you have deemed it than I will receive it with praise and gratitude.

waiting...watching...wondering...knowing...trusting :)

As I sit and wait to see how the Lord will get me thru things, watching for His mighty hand to mold each situation. Wondering what will happen next, I am blessed to know He loves me, that His desire is always what will be best for me. Whether it is the path I would've chosen or not, I trust that what He does is in His best interest for me. God today I am grateful to know that as I put one foot in front of the other in faith, whether the road be lined with delight or things that distress me, I can walk in faith that this is by love, that I am going to get to the other side of this closer to you, looking back and knowing your love was with me. You sent the counselor to assure me, remind me, love me and guide me. You sent your son here to wear flesh and show me the way, you sacrificed Him to take away my sin. God your love is so overwhelming to comprehend, but today I am grateful that even though I can not comprehend it's magnitude, i can rejoice because I know it to be real.