It can be scary....or it can just be an experience.

This is a picture of my hubby, cute as a bug and joking around in this pic. Now we both had faith in that one foot holding him in place while I got the picture. Faith....what an exquisite reality we have available to us. Today God I am grateful for faith in you, faith that can change something from being scary and incredibly unpredictible to an experience of getting to know more of you. It is so hard sometimes to not try and control situations, to take back what we've lifted up to God in prayer. Patience is a refiner of faith in God I believe. I've caught myself not completely letting go of a situation, ya'know just in case God was busy:). Picking up a task I left at the cross because I felt God could use a hand. While my mistakes will continue because at my own hand I'm an idiot, lost without a map. Today I'm grateful God reveals my mis-steps to me and will not easily let go of something I have given Him to handle for me. God reminds me of reasons I left it with Him in the first place. My God is faithful, my God is true. I know this because of the verses He is storing away in my heart. Memorizing verses for the first time since I was a child. I'm not exactly sure why He is storing away these particular ones but I trust Him enough to hold tight to them. Plus now that He put those there I feel ready for more. Life can be scary, watching the news can send you to the nearest piece of chocolate. Faith assures me that this is an experience that He will see me thru. I take faith in the Lord my God over scary anyday :) Thank you God I am grateful for You.

a break in the heart, a healing God.

Today God woke me up asking to be first. I mean time in His word, which I've been doing, but to do it before anything else. Thus far I have taken a moment to make a cup of coffee to enjoy while reading His word, but today He said me first. So with groggy eyes and a belly growling for coffee I stepped into Him. I am reading Exodus and am in chapter 21. I'm not exactly sure why God wanted me to read about all His commandments and other rules before coffee, but I know it will make sense later. I do know God has been laying the word obediance and faith on me alot lately. Is He in His infinate wisdom laying down the ground work for something to come? Absolutely !!! Do I trust Him that it is important to take heed now to reap later, absolutely!!! God is asking me things and I am being obediant and my faith is growing and God is asking me things and I am being obediant and my faith is growing, what a wonderful cycle dontcha think?
This morning I read of a friends husband having cancer, my heart broke a little for her and her husband and family. Then God said I have a plan, I am the healer, all will be done to serve my plan, and I felt better.
I'm not sure what Gods plan is for me, and to be honest I do not want to know, ever. You see our God see's so much more in us than we can see in ourselves. We can see a step, but the whole plan might overwhelm us, might make us slip up because we do not agree. But a step we can handle.
God today I am grateful for each step and for the mercy and grace of you allowing us to see back to how far we've come because of you. May I trust in your plan and be grateful for the sole task of taking a step.

feeling better, but wonder if ???

Sometimes I want to share the really cool things God is doing in me and I feel...I don't know like I'm bragging sometimes, but I'm not. God has been so generous with me that I just want to shout from the rooftops how awesome He is. During bible study we have women dealing with peaks, some in valleys and some just wondering in the desert it seems, so I feel bad being so happy, so amazed. Then I feel compeled to share and I feel these looks?
God has opened my eyes to His word, to the joy of studying Him and getting to know Him. As far as possesions and things my life has not changed, it's my view that has, and I feel so blessed. I share so that they see it's there, for anyone, I'm not special at all. I do not want this joy lessened by "these looks" so my prayer today is to keep on keeping on being happy, joyful. God today I am grateful for You, Your word and the joy of getting to know You, thank you Lord.

figuring it out...well figuring this out :)

Okay so I'm still feeling the icks, but God has given me a plan. My level of energy to get thru each day is minimal due to the icks. So...God being genius and knowing I need Him even more (ya know to whine on His shoulder that I feel these icks) told me to do my reading first, followed by my studies and I will be better for it. Okay so I still feel the icks BUT, yesterday was worse cuz I had trudged thru the day reading a bit here, studying a bit there, feeling bad because I wasn't "into" doing it at all. Today I did that first, so even though my flesh feels the icks, my spirit has been lifted, get it?
Today God I am grateful for a spirit that can be in me and not feel these icks. Today I am grateful for friends that pray for me and the blessing of praying for them. Oh and God I'm grateful you got me to lunch with some friends to enjoy their company even though a nap is what my flesh wanted yesterday. Thank you God, I love you.

praising God when I feel yucky.

Feeling yucky is not much fun. I'm tired although I slept atleast 8 hours. My body is a bit shaky and well it's ucky. Days like these are sometimes hard to lift my bible and open it to read God's word. Then to do the life group workbook and womens bible study seems difficult too, but I do them. Not because I'm some champ, or even studious at all. I do them because I love God, I long to know more about Him, to learn more about my ancestry. Today is tough cuz my hands are shaky. But these are the days I need Him more, these are the times I get beyond myself and into obediance.
God today I am grateful for my spirit reaching out to connect with you although my flesh seems to say it would be okay to let just this day pass without reading or studying. Today God I am grateful that a willing spirit trumps a ucky flesh everytime. May your word be a tonic to my soul, may whatever you teach me today be a lesson my flesh needed to hear. Today God I am grateful to have you, and love you.

sketch artist.

I wish I had a sketch book or photo album of the wonderful pictures God gives me. A place to leaf thru and see what He showed me and when. Or to write down each thing He says. Sometimes there not words so much as a feeling. I don't know maybe I'll just jot down things as they come. Today God said with His full armor on we can walk away from these spats with satan completely unharmed, as a matter of fact He said we could leave His scent on satan. Kinda like being around a smoker, after you part company the scent of the smoker is on you, you need to bath and do laundry to remove it.
I've mentioned a friend before her name is flower (in my head). Recently I saw her in a picture being blown about by winds, barely hanging on, and God said all she would give to these winds was her fragrance. What a treat God has affirmed to me that I could, only thru Him, walk away from satan and leave my scent on him !!!! Does it sound crazy? Probably, but its true.
Today God I am grateful for the gift, the infinate blessing of the priviledge of putting on your full armor. Today God I am grateful for the cute cartoon you gave me of satan walking away from me, defeated and smelling of your love. All things are possible thru He who loves me.

it is overwhelming...but please overwhelm me again and again.

God is opening my eyes to see Him at work and it is overwhelming to see such a confirmation of Him. Monday mornings I send out a threads of gratitude email to friends, co-workers, sisters, loved ones. Each time someone replies with their own list of gratitude I get to see it, see Him at work. Sometimes I'm reduced to a heap of tears, bawling with amazement, sometimes I chuckle at how amazing He is. But the best part is knowing that it's all Him.

This is a picture near the bottom of bridal veil Falls in Yosemite, and I could've sat there all day listening to the sounds, watching the movement of the water, the smells of nature like a tonic for my soul. Most pictures I share on this blog involve nature, because that is when I felt closest to God. More and more God is blessing me with the priviledge of feeling close to Him here at home, y'know in the city, around people and noise and lets face it some unpleasant smells. God is showing me His beauty can be seen everywhere. Its trully amazing for me to learn this, love this. I still long for days near a lake, or on a mountain, just a bit away from it all. But to have this when I'm not hiking or biking or "on vacation" is awesome.

Today God I am tickled to a point of side aches and tears that you continue to reveal your works to me, scratch that, that my eyes are now opened to see your works, they have never been hiding, just not seen by me. I love you Lord and am grateful for Your grace and mercy.